Psychology...

The older I get the more I want there to be some sort of meaning to life. I at times wish I could pull the wool over my eyes and follow the herd. I’m sitting here now wondering what its all about, but first what is It? Why does there need to be an end in sight, a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak? We are just materialism trying to express psychology, or better yet trying to manifest it. I read metaphysics and mysticism, yet so no evidence to support the existence of any of those theories or ideas. Yet something within or without tries to manifest this psychological phenomenon. I think what makes life so interesting at times is the despair of being a mystic as myself. For I can conceive of metaphysical ideas and such, yet face hard reality each day. Materialism is much too real to ignore and block out by any system of mysticism no matter how high in the sky. I love the paradox of the human, Conscious animals we say. Really what we call Psychology is just revamped mysticism and metaphysics. Jung and Freud are the new mystics and metaphysicians that re-worked all the superstitions of the churchmen and Gurus of the East. For really Psychology is just as spiritual and abstract as any other fringe philosophy out there, psychology is mysticism and metaphysics. Its just crazy how much of a hold psychology has had on society, its taught as a science. Jesus Christ! mine as well be taught as science then. Now don't get me all wrong and start calling me a Scientologist or some crazy shit like that. I myself enjoy the benefits of prescription drugs given by my Psychologist, what a hypocrite. But I equally enjoy the weed I smoke with my friends and that is just as scientific as what my Psychologist does, if not more actually. So we are ideas and shadows it seems, trapped in these sacks of meat. I do take to the Gnostic view of Material being inherently evil or lower.....and our bodies as prisons. If you saw my fat ass you'd agree whole heartedly. But I also love the flesh and enjoy my body and the lust I can partake in. Life is to enjoy how one sees fit, even if those that love them disagree or are harmed. A person is not guaranteed a full life, I myself could die in my sleep once I finish writing this. So I mine as well enjoy myself while I can. I am a confused man, a messed up man with many things to work out. But really what human being is not messed up and fit for the loony bin. We are all equally insane, just certain people know how to deal with it. Life is an art and experiment, many things are to be tried. I myself am a work of art that needs to be tweaked and changed to fit the masterpiece in store. I believe in evolution and that as humans we need to always press ourselves in every area of our lives, especially in Art, Philosophy, Religion, Society and Psychology. We are dreams that need to be analyzed. We are unconscious phenomenon wanting to manifest. When it comes down to it there is nothing wrong with Psychology or mysticism or spirituality or anything or nothing. The only thing that should matter is the person who chooses to believe it or not. If I choose a belief one day fine, if the next week things are altered and not needed....then fuck off.