Thoughts.

I have to believe something, so I’m told. I find it interesting that humanity finds the need to escape reality. Be it by drugs, alcohol, mysticism, religion or any other kind of fanaticism. What is it within humans that makes them not trust what we see, why does there need to be a Inner world of psychology or mysticism? I read of mysticism and paranormal phenomenon, about how certain people have experienced these events in their own lives. They are described and believed by others who have the same beliefs or outlook to the inner world. I myself am open to mystical experiences and paranormal activity, I have experienced mysticism on different levels in my life. But with mysticism I know that it remains subjective to the adherent and their beliefs in the subject of mystical experience. With paranormal phenomenon there seems to be a hint of the objective, where others experience the same thing. But this also could just be the essence of communal ritual and magick aesthetics taking place. For going into a place you are told is hunted and with the objective to see and experience ghosts, there can only be one outcome. It will most likely happen that a person or persons will feel creeped out because of the environment and objective of the point being there. Human psychology is taking place, but non the less there is the point of objective experience. I myself have been spooked in a dark room when thinking out ghosts and goblins, but have never seen or felt any paranormal phenomenon. Even if I did I would know it is still all in my own subjective mind and conscious. I guess its so opposite of everyday experience, its not reality but somehow induced like a dream, hallucination or illusion. I guess as humans we are ungrateful, so most of us need religion and mysticism to fill that void as they say. But really its just how things are taught, western philosophy and society is based on Christianity and some sort of higher spiritual view. Only now are people sick of it, and trying to live today as today, and realizing there is no light at the end of the tunnel, no heaven or hell where God chooses who goes to and so on. Its nature, we live eat sleep fuck then die and rot in the ground. No celestial walk in the park of heavens glory or re-incarnation. I think the world is so screwed up cause people don’t take it as reality, its not “ all there is” its not the end all be all. It would be nice if there was a heaven to go to at the end of it all, but as an adult I have responsibilities to myself first of, and even to a society that mostly is blinded by religion and some sort of new age mysticism. I am a cursed man though for I am a mystic that knows there is no mysticism, so I guess poet would be a better world. For a normal person says “ a rose” a poet says “a rose that glows and reflects with the sunlight and moist from the morning dew, she holds it in her aged hands and takes in the divine fragrance from the gods themselves”

Psychology...

The older I get the more I want there to be some sort of meaning to life. I at times wish I could pull the wool over my eyes and follow the herd. I’m sitting here now wondering what its all about, but first what is It? Why does there need to be an end in sight, a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak? We are just materialism trying to express psychology, or better yet trying to manifest it. I read metaphysics and mysticism, yet so no evidence to support the existence of any of those theories or ideas. Yet something within or without tries to manifest this psychological phenomenon. I think what makes life so interesting at times is the despair of being a mystic as myself. For I can conceive of metaphysical ideas and such, yet face hard reality each day. Materialism is much too real to ignore and block out by any system of mysticism no matter how high in the sky. I love the paradox of the human, Conscious animals we say. Really what we call Psychology is just revamped mysticism and metaphysics. Jung and Freud are the new mystics and metaphysicians that re-worked all the superstitions of the churchmen and Gurus of the East. For really Psychology is just as spiritual and abstract as any other fringe philosophy out there, psychology is mysticism and metaphysics. Its just crazy how much of a hold psychology has had on society, its taught as a science. Jesus Christ! mine as well be taught as science then. Now don't get me all wrong and start calling me a Scientologist or some crazy shit like that. I myself enjoy the benefits of prescription drugs given by my Psychologist, what a hypocrite. But I equally enjoy the weed I smoke with my friends and that is just as scientific as what my Psychologist does, if not more actually. So we are ideas and shadows it seems, trapped in these sacks of meat. I do take to the Gnostic view of Material being inherently evil or lower.....and our bodies as prisons. If you saw my fat ass you'd agree whole heartedly. But I also love the flesh and enjoy my body and the lust I can partake in. Life is to enjoy how one sees fit, even if those that love them disagree or are harmed. A person is not guaranteed a full life, I myself could die in my sleep once I finish writing this. So I mine as well enjoy myself while I can. I am a confused man, a messed up man with many things to work out. But really what human being is not messed up and fit for the loony bin. We are all equally insane, just certain people know how to deal with it. Life is an art and experiment, many things are to be tried. I myself am a work of art that needs to be tweaked and changed to fit the masterpiece in store. I believe in evolution and that as humans we need to always press ourselves in every area of our lives, especially in Art, Philosophy, Religion, Society and Psychology. We are dreams that need to be analyzed. We are unconscious phenomenon wanting to manifest. When it comes down to it there is nothing wrong with Psychology or mysticism or spirituality or anything or nothing. The only thing that should matter is the person who chooses to believe it or not. If I choose a belief one day fine, if the next week things are altered and not needed....then fuck off.

What? click and paste...

Now I am that sort of person that gets bored easily and find most things in this life useless. I change views and ideologies frequently, yet with not much seriousness to I adhere to it. I always have the belief that beliefs are like clothing, they can be changed just as easily. Any spiritual belief or ideology is subjective, even certain materialistic philosophies are subjective. For Marxism claimed to be strictly materialist and whatnot, but not everyone that is scientific is a Marxist. When it comes down to it we as humans believe what we want, be it based on materialistic fact or subjective faith. Take the creationists for instance they see no need to believe in science in anyway. Or vice versa evolutionists don’t believe in the truth of God. I want to believe what I see fit to believe in, be it for my own happiness or for convenience for a certain situation I my life. We are all sell outs to a certain extent, we all need that feeling that we belong to something. No matter how individual the philosopher or belief be, we want to be around others that accept us. We are communal animals, we love herds and having a leader of some sorts. There is nothing wrong with a leader and groups, for we are all part of society. There is really truly no individual out there in the strict sense of the word, unless its some guru in the forest, even then though that person relies on their surroundings for survival. When I hear of philosophies that claim to be about the individual and something about that, I check it out. But it is really just about someone looking for others that think like they do. Our beliefs are shaped by those around us even if we don’t admit it. Be it our spouse who may have no interest in what we believe, they influence our outlook in someway. Beliefs are for community, so with the internet the phenomenon of religious or philosophical belief is manifested to the world. The internet allows one to believe easier, in the world wide web you can be anyone and anything. You can hide behind your blog and websites. Yet you can remain strong and who you are and want to be. With the internet religious or philosophical beliefs are easy to research and pick from. I pick and choose from the vast philosophical ideas out there and come out with a cocktail of ideas for my own beliefs. And if I get tired of these I can change and feel no shame in changing my views. There should be no shame in changing and evolving with your own ideas and philosophies. If one can not change then it shows you are easily convinced. There is no end in view, no heaven or enlightenment to attain. So with this in mind, why stick to a certain view, ideal, system or belief? We are all animals yet we have what we term self-consciousness, so we need to have higher meaning. So we create heavens and enlightenment, or Degrees and High priests to make us feel fuzzy and warm inside. Its all quite useless these ideas, they are fine to adhere to as long as you realize the joke of it all. The main problem with spirituality and mysticism is that one takes themselves too seriously and don’t dare laugh at themselves or there dear Gurus or Masters. Its quite sad seeing all these groups with their many dead Masters and such, it’s a joke. Like Satanism with its “Dr High Priest Magus” and whatever names I forgot Anton LaVey. Or Thelma’s “666 O Meta Therion” Aleister Crowley, but at least he’s more interesting and intelligent then LaVey ever could be. Or Christianities Jesus or now days the pope or Billy Graham or Pat Robertson. Scientology’s Tom Cruise or Ron L. Hubbard. And the list goes on. I can laugh at myself as others laugh at me and with me. Life is too short, so be a nihilist of some sort. Beliefs are like an art, a collage of sorts, the mind can be tricked into believing anything. There is no such thing as God, but your mind can make you believe there is one if you want. Beliefs are expendable, they can be adapted to certain situation and life experiences. I enjoy experimenting with beliefs and applying them to my own life, seeing how I react to them. I used to be a Christian and was part of that paradigm. Now I have stepped out of that belief paradigm, but I can step back in at any moment for comedic relief. Same with any philosophy or religion. They are adaptable to the persons mind and environment. So pick and choose and see what happens. Nothings true, everything is permitted.

Nihilism....scum

Now by nihilism I mean nothing, hence the Latin Nil. There are so many systems of thought out there and so many adherents of the many "isms" that are ready to separate the pseudo from the real. So after studying the many ideas out there, I have come to my own conclusion of a Non-belief. I looked into Satanism and found that denominations is just not a Christian Fundamental thing. I peeked into Magick and found more Fundamentalism then when I was working at a Church. Read philosophy and became bored at all the vast words and useless concepts of old men used to explain life. Then I came across Nihilism and was amused, but that’s about it. The problem with most philosophers and Occultists is that they take themselves too seriously. When it comes to the Internet and Philosophy its a war over words, so get a life. I am my own worst critic, I can love what I write one day and tear that shit up the next week. So after all this re-search into "knowledge" and trying to see what "I am" or who I am or whatever the hell, I thought who cares....I'll just retreat to Nihilism. I have no firm beliefs, I am not of an "Ism" or a "Ist". Satanists I find amusing, they make me laugh inside.....cause they take themselves so serious. Thelemites.....remind me of Evangelical Christians, on a bad day that is. Nihilists are the worst type of human being, but I guess I have to join something. When it comes down to it, its a view of independance. Not allowing other views to make you a slave to them, at the end of the day you anwser to yourself. I do not look up to any higher force or sysmbolism. I do not anwser to a group or church or organization. Self.

un-Introduction.

This is my first blog at this corner of the web. I have profiles around other places where I share my ramblings and at time even poems. But I wanted this place to deal specifically with my Philosophical views or lack there of. I will also share my spiritual and magickal views and ideas. I see alot of blogs with renowned "Satanists" "Occultists" "Philosophers" "Magickians" or whatever kind of people are out there. I myself fit in there somewhere. But I am too lazy or important to stick to a certain Ism or definite set of beliefs. So I retreat back to Nihilism as my set of beliefs and standards. I love paradox and being accountable to no one but myself. I can contradict my own beliefs and philosophical ideas, cause I am my own adherant to my own idea's. I do not know what the future will hold maybe nothing, hopefully some lost soul(s) will come across these writings. Let me know what you think.....really.